Clarifying Assertions:
Refer to Paragraph & Sentence Pointers
Some sentences from your drafts
NB: We are not correcting sentences. We are revising them. NB: We are not correcting sentences. We are revising them. NB: We are not correcting sentences. We are revising them. NB: We are not correcting sentences. We are revising them. NB: We are not correcting sentences. We are revising them.
1. In both Leviathan and The Pilgrim's Progress, fear serves as both a motivator and a hindrance for men seeking salvation.
In L & TPP, fear both motivates and hinders men seeking salvation.
2. Once again, it is presented that the natural state of the world is a problem, just like Hobbes's natural state.
Once again, the natural state of the world is a problem, just like Hobbes's natural state.
3. To advise women in matters concerning marriage is almost necessarily to create a satire of men.
To advise women in matters concerning marriage almost necessarily creates a satire of men.
4. It is evident that fear is central in Bunyan's allegory, because it is fear that initially drives Christian away from his family and home to pursue salvation.
Fear is clearly central to Bunyan's allegory: it is fear that initially drives Christian away from his family and home to pursue salvation.
Bunyan makes fear central to his allegory: fear initially drives Christian away from his family and home to pursue salvation and fear . . .
5. The concept of fear plays a central role in reinforcing the power and authority of the sovereign figure in both Hobbes's Leviathan and Bunyan's The Pilgrim's Progress.
Fear reinforces the power and authority of the sovereign in both Hobbes's Leviathan and Bunyan's The Pilgrim's Progress.
In both Hobbes's Leviathan and Bunyan's The Pilgrim's Progress, fear reinforces the power and authority of the sovereign.
6. The main similarities between Hobbes and Bunyan can be found in the fact that the people must surrender everything to the rule, and that it is always absolute.
In [the work of] both Hobbes and Bunyan, people must surrender everything to an absolute sovereign.
A paragraph from a draft:
Within Dryden’s Selected Poems, he offers language and viewpoints that vary significantly. His poem, “Astraea Redux” reveals Dryden’s genuine praise through his written verse. On the other hand, Dryden’s poem, “Macflecknoe” reflects a highly satirical mock-epic. Dryden uses parallel images within both of these poems. He extends the image of the ship and uses it as an allegory in “Astraea Redux” and Macflecknoe.” Through examining the textual evidence, one discovers slight nuances the ways in which Dryden utilizes ship allegory.
Although “Astraea Redux” reveals John Dryden’s genuine praise while “Macflecknoe” is a highly satirical mock-epic, Dryden uses parallel images in these poems. He extends the image of the ship and uses it as an allegory in “Astraea Redux” and Macflecknoe,” showing nuances the ways in which he utilizes ship allegory.
Although Dryden genuinely praises a king in "Astraea Redux" and satirizes a poet laureate in "Macflecknoe," he uses parallel images in these poems. By extending the image of a ship, he creates a nuanced allegory in each.
Although "Astraea Redux" and "Macflecnoe" are very different from one another--"Astraea Redux" is a poem of praise while "Macflecknoe" is a satire--Dryden develops both poems through a ship allegory.
Dryden praises in AR and satirizes in M, but in each he extends the image of a ship, creating an nuanced allegory.