Paper Page
Paper length: 6-7 pages, double spaced, typed. DUE DATE for revised paper: Thursday, June 4.
A first draft is also required. Due date for draft: Thursday, May 14--at the beginning of class. Please bring one copy of your draft for me (AJVS) and one copy for a peer reader.
Peer reading: Click on link for peer-reading guidelines.
Commentary: Along with the final draft of your paper, please write a 1-2 page commentary on the writing of your paper. How did things go? What sort of trouble spots did you run into? How did you handle them? What did you learn--from handling trouble spots and from having your paper read by your peer reader? Did anything about your thinking surprise you? The commentary is informal and will not be graded separately from the paper, but it is required. I read the commentary before reading the paper.
You will find below the "key" to my comments on drafts and papers.
PAPER TOPICS: More topics to come
NB:
For all topics, please read and take seriously "Paragraph and Sentence Pointers."1.Hobbes & Bunyan. Fear: What is the role or function of fear in Hobbes’s theory of the state? What is the role or function of fear in Bunyan's delineation of the path to salvation? Compare. Pay very close attention to the two texts. The project of comparison should lead to a new understanding of one or both the works. Bunyan (1628-1688) and Hobbes (1688-1679) were contemporaries for part of their lives, but their life experiences were very different. Your job in the paper will be to sharpen and analyze the differences between the two writers or to discover and analyze the similiarities.
2.Bunyan & Defoe. In The Pilgrim's Progress, we see names like Christian, Obstinate, Pliable, Mr. Worldly Wiseman, Legality, Simple, and Sloth. And in Roxana, there are characters called Roxana, Amy, my Husband, an Ancient Gentlewoman, the Wife, the Husband, Landlord, the Prince -------, the Dutch Merchant, Sir Robert Clayton, youngest Son, the Girl, the Quaker, and Susan. What do the names tell you about the fictions? What difference does it make to these fictions that characters have these names? Make a comparative claim about these two fictions based on the different kinds of naming in each. Use close analyses of the two texts to develop your thesis.
3.Bunyan & Defoe. Instruction: Bunyan explains his instructive aim by claiming that his book "will make a traveller of thee" (Apology), and Defoe, no less explicitly, says that his "History" is intended for the "Instruction and Improvement of the Reader"; it will be read with both "Profit and Delight" (Preface). How do these instructive aims shape these fictions? Use close analyses of both texts to develop your thesis.
4.Hobbes & Defoe. Survival in the world is a crucial element of Roxana and of the Leviathan. This kind of survival is clearly not Christian's aim in The Pilgrim's Progress. Given the stark difference between these works, can you find a way to compare them? Choose two for comparison.
5. It's easy to see what our works include. But various works also exclude things. (Just think about it: Do any of our works include excrement? work? the sense of touch? money? grandparents? ) What would happen if you tried to include those elements that are includCompare two of our works on the basis of what they include and exclude.
6. Bunyan & Bunyan. As the editor tells us, the second edition of The Pilgrim's Progress came out less than a year after the first, but Bunyan made a number of changes (see list of changes on p. xl of the introduction). What difference to the work as a whole do these changes make?
[If you want to see the actual difference, there is a first edition on EEBO. You don't have to look this edition up. You can imagine the first edition by deleting (in imagination) all the elements that Bunyan added. But it might be fun to look at the first edition. If you want to take this topic but feel a little uncertain, come talk to me in my office.]7. Bunyan & Hobbes. Hobbes's goal is to outline the requirements for a secure state, and he argues that the security required for civilized life depends on an absolute sovereign. Bunyan's work, too, seeks a source of absolute certainty, which can only be found in another world. Compare the two writers, showing what they have in common as well as how they differ.
8. Dryden & Dryden. Consider together Astraea Redux (1660) and Macflecknoe (1676) on the basis of how they treat the idea of kingship. Both poems are in your edition of Dryden.
9. Bunyan & Dryden. Compare The Pilgrim's Progress and Absalom and Achitophel based on a close analysis of their first paragraphs.
In pious times, ere priestcraft did begin,
Before polygamy was made a sin;
When man on many multiplied his kind,
Ere one to one was cursedly confined;
When nature prompted, and no law denied, [5]
Promiscuous use of concubine and bride;
Then Israel's monarch after heaven's own heart,
His vigorous warmth did variously impart
To wives and slaves; and, wide as his command,
Scattered his Maker's image through the land. [10]
Michal, of royal blood, the crown did wear,
A soil ungrateful to the tiller's care:
Not so the rest; for several mothers bore
To godlike David several sons before.
But since like slaves his bed they did ascend, [15]
No true succession could their seed attend.
Of all the numerous progeny was none
So beautiful, so brave, as Absalon;
1. Read the paper until you find the thesis. Circle the key terms of the thesis, and put an asterisk next to it in the margin of the paper. Based on the thesis statement, how do you expect the essay to unfold? Can you imagine objections that the writer should take into account? Do you remember any material from our reading that might be helpful to the writer? (That is, can you offer the writer specific quotations that might be useful in the development of his or her paper?)2. Read the paper through for a first impression. What strikes you about it? Whatare its best sections?
3. Were you right about the thesis? If not, what now appears to be the thesis to you? Does the paper follow through on it? If the paper seems to have more than one thesis, do you see any relation between them?
4. Locate and underline transitions between paragraphs. Do the transitions follow the “plot” or “argument” of the material being analyzed? Or do they follow the development of the writer’s thinking?
5. Comment in detail on a paragraph that “works” and a paragraph that doesn’t. What hooks sentences together in the paragraph that works? What kind of help does the non-working paragraph need?
6. What did you learn from the paper? What do you think the writer will learn from you?
7. Please type responses to these questions on a separate page. Make two copies give one to the writer of the paper, and turn another in with your final draft so you can get credit for your peer reading. Please also turn in with your final draft the peer-reading sheet given to you by your peer reader.
8. If you would like to participate in peer conferences, sign up on the sheet on my office door. It will be there beginning Monday, February 11.
Say what you mean: Put the most important meaning words in the most important grammatical positions. This move is one of your most important revision strategies. It will help you get rid of wordiness, initial delaying constructions, and clunky clauses; and it will encourage you to subordinate properly.*
Hook-ups: Sentences in a paragraph must "hook on to" preceding sentences. In each case, look for the stated or implied connector.
In hooking on to a previous sentence, each sentence does something to the previous one. You need to be able to say what each sentence is doing to the one before it. If your sentences have not met each other yet, they don't belong in the same paragraph.Develop your paragraphs: Most paragraphs in English start out in a certain direction and keep on going that way. Many start in one direction and then turn (with such words as "however" and "nevertheless"). There are two "rules" about turning: a) you can only turn once per paragraph; b) all sentences following the turn support that turn OR the original direction of the paragraph.* (One apparent exception is only apparent; I'll explain it in class.)
Test your paragraphs with the "paragraph test": cut the paragraph into sentences and see if another intelligent, attentive person can put the paragraph together again.
*These two ideas are from Frederick Crews's The Random House Handbook.
Key to AJVS comments and questions
Check = nice, good, etc.
Check, check = very nice, good, etc.
_______ ________= Something is wrong with the connection
between circled or underlined elements.¶ = Paragraph.
¶ development, coherence, and unity. "Paragraph & Sentence Pointers" may help you with this.
Sp = spelling.
SS = sentence structure.
SVA = subject-verb agreement.
// ism = parallelism.
ref = reference not clear (for pronouns, etc.).
frag = sentence fragment.
P = punctuation problem.
ROS = run-on sentence.
CS = comma splice.
NI = not idiomatic.
Pass = passive voice used inappropriately.
Pred = predication. Something is wrong with the way you are putting
together a subject and a verb.wd ch = problem with word choice.
T = problem with shift in verb tense or with sequence of tense.
# = spacing. You need to add a space or spaces.
POV = point of view. You may want me to explain this problem while
looking at your paper.Rep = repetition.
Redundant = redundant.
Transition = Something amiss with transition between sentences or
paragraphs.Subordination = problem with subordination.
Logic = Problem with logic, e.g., your evidence doesn’t match your
claim; you have made an unacknowledged assumption or you have
assumed agreement that doesn’t exist; you have drawn an inference
that doesn’t follow from your observation or from your evidence.Leap = Same as above.
Meaning ? = Even with effort, I find this sentence or phrase
hard to understand.Hm . . . = I’m not persuaded. Sounds doubtful to me.
This = Try not to usethe word "this" without a noun following it. Say
"this point," "this idea," "this problem," etc., rather than "this,"
"this,","this."GSS = Getting-started sentences; omit.
TOTS = Too obvious to state.
TSINWVH = This sentence is not working very hard.
TSDNATKEO = These sentences do not appear to know each other.
Please introduce them. And please see paragraph and sentence
pointer on "hook-ups."AMAT = Ask me about this [point].
CA = Clarify assertion. One frequent possibility: Put the most
important meaning words in the most important grammatical positions.
See advice on sentences and paragraphs: "Say what you mean."Condense = Clarify assertions, subordinate appropriately, and aim for
economy in expression. You often need to condense in order to see
what needs to be.